To put my recent feelings into words, I want to bring out a scripture. I don't have them with me right now but I believe it is in Alma13:27-29. It brings us straight into the middle of Alma's experience as High Priest of the Church of God. Alma had experienced a HUGE change of heart throughout his life. Not just of heart, but desires, thoughts, actions, and beliefs. He says something to the extent of "I wish from the innermost part of my soul, even with great anxiety unto pain....." that the people he was preaching to would cast off their sins and become followers of Christ. He has such URGENCY. And it is a blessing too. Months ago I wondered how I could feel the same urgency. It truly does come through the power of the Atonement of Christ. Think about the hymn More Holiness Give Me...
"More holiness give me, more strivings within, more patience in suffering, more sorrow for sin, more faith in my Savior, more sense of His care, more joy in His service, more purpose in prayer. More gratitude give me, more trust in the Lord, more pride in His glory, more hope in His word, more tears for His sorrows, more pain at His grief, more meekness in trial, more praise for relief. More purity give me, more strength to overcome, more freedom from earth-stains, more longing for home, more fit for the kingdom, more use would I be, more blessed and holy, more Savior like Thee."
Nearly all of those aspects this beautiful hymn talks about are aspects that can only come through the redeeming power of His Atonement! It is the source of all spiritual progression! I bear testimony that it is real! I can testify of its reality and divinity because I have experienced a similar change that Alma experienced through his own missionary service. I know what it feels like to have my nature molded to include aspects from this beautiful song. It is so painful. Because it takes true and sincere repentance. Repentance hurts. Your spiritual matter is refined through repenting and partaking of the sacrament. It is a process that can bring you your darkest hours, but at the end awaits more love, light, glory, understanding and truth than you have yet experienced. The promise missionaries receive in their mission calls and in Preach my Gospel...that "more happiness awaits you than you have yet experience as you labor among His children" is so real. Father loves us so much. The gospel is true.
Just as in any chapter of mortal life, a mission will prove to be a refiner’s fire. Dark and lonely moments of learning and understanding are transformed into moments of inspiration, testimony building experiences, and growing love. It’s been a little tougher lately. Everything has a purpose, and leads to greater blessings and light in the end, but it is definitely hard along the way. It is a blessing. Just as the church of God in Alma and King Noah's time, the Lord seeeth fit to chasten His people, because He loves them. Lessons are required as we climb the latter leading to salvation. Required circumstances and favored reactions bring progression and more Christ-like conduct. Such a blessing! (EH?)
I am grateful to serve as a representative of Christ. He is my Savior. His act of love allows us to progress toward more peace and happiness. Living the gospel refines people. It is true. Progression comes in small and simple ways that are so easy to miss. Search for them. Our Father in Heaven loves us very much. I know these things to be true.
E. PORTER
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