Wow. I am a missionary. I'm on my mission. I don't think it'll ever sink in completely. These are the days I will hopefully come to love, and talk about all my life. I can't believe I'm actually doing it. I'm legitimately growing up. It's so weird and amazing. If I didn't know that God is on my side, I don't know how me or anybody else could possibly ever get through life. It gives us such good perspective and motivation. Without feeling God's love and Christ's spirit, I do not know who people make it through life. I am so grateful for the testimony and knowledge I have of the gospel. Understanding Christ's atonement is everything. He went through what I'm going through; He's felt what I'm feeling right now. I am never alone. And if people chose to follow this same path, neither are they. I pray every day that God will lead those who are prepared into our path. The work will go forward and proceed at His pace. I know it will. I hope and pray more than anything that the spirit will transform me into the missionary, and into the man that I am supposed to be.  It's the only way I or anybody else can even come close to achieving our potential. Striving with all of our human strength to follow Christ's example is so inexpressibly important to our development as Heavenly Father's children. It is the only way we can leave this life knowing we've done enough. My young and unlearned mind doesn't know words that can substantially express the amazing amount of joy that my heart and soul feels every single time I bear my testimony of the simple truths of the gospel that I have an unshakable belief and strong conviction of. The spirit testifies to me every day that the things I as a missionary boldly declare to the world are true and endlessly sustained by God himself. God sustains his missionaries in their calling. Even I do not know the magnitude of this promise and truth. I know that on my mission, I will have amazing experiences. I am so new to this. I know nothing, as I talked about at my farewell. I really don't. I am worthless without God and his spirit. So many missionaries have so much more experience than me. I hope to be half the missionary that some of them are by the time my time is done here. I'll be honest. I was not humble when IA left on my mission. I was overly confident. I relied on my natural gift of talking with people to be enough. I was beaten down and humbled in the MTC. I have come so much farther than anybody reading this could possibly understand in the past month. I have learned so many important things about myself. I have already been changed forever in more ways than one. If I came home right now, I would be so much farther ahead in my life than I was a month ago. For anybody wondering if a mission is for them or not, for anybody who does not know with an unshakable conviction that God lives, and loves us so ridiculously beyond our comprehension it is unimaginable, I urge you to sincerely humble yourself before God in heartfelt prayer. Plead with Him to feel his love for you. Pray to know if Joseph Smith is the man of God that I right now, am claiming him to be. Show God your desire is sincere by reading the Book of Mormon. And I swear to you before God that you will gain a testimony of this gospel. You will come to know that there is a modern prophet on the earth that right now holds priesthood authority straight from Jesus Christ. You will know by the heart piercing power of the Holy Ghost that you must serve a mission. God has looked at your individually, and has prepared people for YOU. You are the only one that can present the message of the gospel in a way that they will open their heart and accept it. And if you do not accept your calling, you are mocking God. You will be judged and justice will be served for the good that you did not do, but could have if you served a mission. Don't do that to yourself. If you don't know if you will serve, or are doubting any aspect of the gospel, then simply read the Book of Mormon. Moroni 10;4-5 states..."And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."...I testify that this promise is real! I have felt the only true converting power brought to me by this promise from a prophet of God. Do not assume that a mission isn't for you. Take that decision before God for him to make for you. If you don't do that, then you're being real stupid. Straight up. I don't know who this testimony is for, but it is for someone. I felt strongly impressed that I needed to say these things for someone. Whoever you are, you know what to do. Bring it to God. Follow his commandments, and trust in Him that no matter what happens, it will all work out the way it is supposed to in the end. God has trusted you with so much knowledge and power. All this truth comes with responsibility. You know what to do.

Wow. So anyways. This week was real good. Lots of work and lots of freezing cold finding hours--almost 30 this week. We did teach 13 investigator lessons, which is very good. Yesterday we simply focused on getting our member lessons in for the week. I love getting to know the members. We stopped by someone who gave us some really good advice as missionaries. It really is all about understanding the atonement. If you understand that, and your need to share it with people, everything else will fall into place, I know it.

This week we got a perfect "golden" investigator. She's gone through lots of tough times, and is searching for something more in her life. She came to church with us, and she stayed for the whole 3 hours. We make sure she was smothered with love and attention in relief society. It went really well, and she wants to come again next week, and she is bringing her 14 year old son as well. She is so ready. We are teaching the restoration on Wednesday, and we are going to try to set a baptismal date. Pray for us to have the spirit with us. If she feels it I believe she'll instantly recognize this is what she is looking for. The gospel can bring people so much happiness in their lives. I wish everyone was humble enough to listen to our message. Oh well, God always provides. Those who are ready will be lead to us, or we will be lead to them. All is well. Keep praying for me, I can literally feel your prayers and the extra strength they give me every day. I'm not even kidding. It's crazy. Anyways. Love you all. Emails are better than mail. Mail takes like a week and a half. I'd love to hear from everyone.

Love,

Elder Matt Porter